Feels like we want to go backwards

There has been nothing but butterflies that I chase, that fly in my garden; and a tooth fairy who gifts me a coin after I lose a tooth. That couldn’t make my picture perfect childhood any happier.

Now I chase clients, VIPs, assholes – what other surprises can life bring. The gifts I get? Usually verbally spoken. An positive feedback  to compliment my grade – a”yes” or “no”; to a”I’ll get back to you.”;or even another task to do.

It’s always about working and taking everything to the next level. But what’s the point when there are downfalls that break you.

The price is the feeling of success when you’ve accomplished something as a person. But what does it mean when you can accomplish something, when there is something else out there to break you completely?

The balance for accomplishment doesn’t add out to the thing that breaks you. If you could oustand the success you did, why can you not overcome the thing that breaks you?

I know I am imperfect. At breaking points, I wish there were butterflies I could poke at instead of people to get things done. It’s frustrating that I have stress as my best friend. But still I push forth. Then there is this where sometimes I don’t ask why, or I create an excuse out of thin air to make meaning of what I am trying to do. Then I don’t understand why is it that I want to help, although I am helpless to help out, yet I find a way to make an excuse to do it. But why?

Why do I want to wants myself?

At times like these I would want to be in situations where I didn’t know anything at all. How lovely it would be to not know at all.

Ignorance is bliss.

To lose a tooth for bliss, would be an option.

 

Image courtesy via 123RF.com

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